USB: The high-speed port to HELL!

17 Nov 2010

Yes, the religious are (often) nuts.

Ever notice how the logo to denote USB, the ubiquitous technology for connecting peripherals to personal computers, looks like a devilish pitchfork?

USB logo

Okay, neither have I. But then again, I'm not of the theological ilk to detect the image of Mother Mary gracing a pastrami, either. A gaggle of evangelicals in Brazil, displaying the flavor of open-mindedness on which believers pride themselves, have decided to swear off the use of USB ports because of logo's resemblance to the imaginary pointy-thing carried by an imaginary villain. From USB - Satan's Data Connection:

The evangelical cult "Paz do Senhor Amado" ("Peace Beloved of the Lord") in the interior of Brazil forbids its followers to use any USB technology by contending that it uses a symbol that makes apology to the devil.

According to its founder, the "Apostle" Welder Saldanha says that this is just a symbol of Satan, is always present in all Christian homes.

No word on whether the new USB 3.0 standard enables faster transfer rates to deliver soul packets to Hell. (Where the techno-damned will presumably spend an eternity slaving away at Windows Vista terminals, relishing the occasional breaks for less-painful pitchfork disembowlings.)

So, what's a good Christian gadget lover in the Amazon to do? Fear not; the "Apostle" isn't demanding Amish levels of Luddism from his flock. Believers are free to use the wireless Bluetooth connection technology instead, as 

"Blue was the color of the eyes of our savior Jesus Christ."

Score one for Jesus the Nordic Jew! (Suggestion to "Apostle" Saldanha: Give Bluetooth the thumbs-up to honor King Harald "Bluetooth" Gormsson of Denmark's conversion to Christianity, instead of Jesus's impossible eye color. You'll get laughed at a bit less.)

Anyway. Maybe the story's completely false; it could all be just the latest Internet joke. Anyone in Brazil have further news on this puzzling piece of purported pareidolia?


Satan or Shaitan, also known as the god of evil in the pseudo-monotheistic pantheon of Christianity.

defaithed's picture

Yes, that would appear to be the character behind the nefarious USB port.

USB? United Satanic Believers?  

defaithed's picture

Great. In replying too quickly to a comment, I clicked here instead of there, and mindlessly deleted it instead.

A friendly anonymous reader in Brazil (still "thousands of miles from the Amazon", I'm assured) takes umbrage with my sentence "So, what's a good Christian gadget lover in the Amazon to do?", for wrongly implying that "Brazil" is equivalent to "the Amazon".

Our good reader is of course correct on geography: Brazil <> Amazon. But I'm not ready to call myself ignorant on this one. The location of the cult in question eludes me; there are numerous online mentions of the story, but all of them that I find quote the same initial source, which only places the cult in the country's "interior". Assuming the initial source is correct (and as noted, I think the whole thing sounds a wee suspicious), the cult isn't in one of the big coastal cities, and certainly could be in or near the Amazon region (however defined).

Or may not be. If I've erred, it's not in promoting the idea "Brazil = Amazon", but rather in supporting the meme "Brazilian interior = Amazon". 

Anyway. Sorry, Anonymous, for stupidly deleting your short but appreciated comment!


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