Lion for Jesus

"Arguing on the Internet is..."

Fill in the blank yourself with the punchline from any number of witticisms. They all equate to the same thing: "Arguing on the Internet is dumb." It's a waste of time, I know, especially responding to anonymous commenters... but once in a while, you just can't help but let fly.

Somehow I came across a story about a 12-year-old girl in Ethiopia beaten by men trying to abduct her for a forced "marriage". It seems that just as things looked the worst, three lions came along, scared off the men, and left the girl with no further harm. Wow!

An amazing tale? You bet! An open invitation to religious puffery by believers? Er, what else would you expect from people who see miracles imprinted on toast? It's no surprise that some goober commented thusly:

I am a Christian and I understand (and am OVERWHELMED at) this GIFT that GOD sent when HE had these lions come to protect this child. Angels can take any form...and then they just "disappeared into the wild"? THREE lions (as in The FATHER, The SON and The HOLY GHOST)!!?? Be THANKFUL that we have such a FATHER and GOD looking out for us!!

Well. Apparently bored and irritable, I responded: 

I am a Reasonable Human and I understand (and am OVERWHELMED at) this UNUSUAL EVENT in which NO GOD displayed evidence of intervention when HE OR SHE OR THEY failed to keep the girl out of this danger in the first place, and failed to punish the perpetrators of the hideous custom of bride kidnapping, and failed to perform any miraculous action on behalf of any children anywhere in the world, such as by clearing even one pediatric cancer ward of its patients (well, other than by letting them all die in agony, per the apparent default divine plan). Leprechauns can take any form… and then they just "disappeared into the wild"? THREE lions (as in CURLY, LARRY, and MOE)!!?? Be THANKFUL that sometimes creatures will act unpredictably, rather than outright killing children as lions and cobras and dogs and tuberculosis bacteria do too often in the utter absence of a FATHER and GOD looking out for us!

There! That'll raise hackles once it appears... which it hasn't yet, because... oops, the story is from 2005. Did not see that.

Chagrined, allow me to revisit my opener:

"Arguing on the Internet and doing so several years too late is really..."