Even today I am not ashamed to say that, overpowered by stormy enthusiasm, I fell down on my knees and thanked Heaven from an overflowing heart for granting me the good fortune of being permitted to live at this time.
Scary Christian Ghost Stories
Have you heard the scary tale of the Jewish carpenter zombie?
Probably so; restating the supernatural bits of religion, even the "glorious" bits, in terms of crude pulp fiction is a common way to have fun when mocking belief.
I saw one such rewording today, when following some non-memorable chain of links brought me to The 7 Most Ridiculous Ghost Stories from Around the World on Cracked.com (a site I normally avoid due to its magical powers to destroy productive time...). I liked one comment by reader CraigFinlay:
I heard a ghost story once about a carpenter who was executed and rose from the dead 3 days later and if you don't telepathically accept him as your master he'll send you to burn in the underworld for all eternity because a rib woman was tricked by a talking snake into eating magic fruit a very long time ago. Why isn't that on this list?
Heh. Worth committing to memory.
(For a few more scary stories from Christianity, try these posts:)