In the beginning was the unspeakable squamous horror
From a silly Photoshop contest at CRACKED magazine (I read it so you don't have to, okay?) comes this reader-submitted masterpiece. Ah, now that explains much about our universe! The frigid, lifeless gulfs of infinite space... the murderous cataclysms of our own planet... its trackless dry wastes and unsurvivable polar regions... flesh-eating bacteria... brain-devouring viruses... our own greed, bloodlust, and savagery... With Cthulhu properly identified as the Inhumane Designer, we no longer have to ask whether mankind's miseries point to an evil God. Now we know.
Besides, what but an Inhumane Designer explains the sanity-rending aesthetic ugliness riddling creation, crawling just below its patina of butterflies and puppies? I'm looking at you, arachnid faces, tumescent monkey butts, and human feet. No, wait, I'm not looking at you. AHHHH! Go away!!