Christianity

Have you heard the scary tale of the Jewish carpenter zombie?

Probably so; restating the supernatural bits of religion, even the "glorious" bits, in terms of crude pulp fiction is a common way to have fun when mocking belief.

I saw one such rewording today, when following some non-memorable chain of links brought me to The 7 Most Ridiculous Ghost Stories from Around the World on Cracked.com (a site I normally avoid due to its magical powers to destroy productive time...). I liked one comment by reader CraigFinlay:

I heard a ghost story once about a carpenter who was executed and rose from the dead 3 days later and if you don't telepathically accept him as your master he'll send you to burn in the underworld for all eternity because a rib woman was tricked by a talking snake into eating magic fruit a very long time ago. Why isn't that on this list?

Heh. Worth committing to memory.

(For a few more scary stories from Christianity, try these posts:)

The Vatican's Express Exorcist

Exorcism is a crime

Christ the King (of monsters)

Alaska Airlines removing prayer cards from meal trays after 30 years as complaints increase

"Arguing on the Internet is..."

Fill in the blank yourself with the punchline from any number of witticisms. They all equate to the same thing: "Arguing on the Internet is dumb." It's a waste of time, I know, especially responding to anonymous commenters... but once in a while, you just can't help but let fly.

Somehow I came across a story about a 12-year-old girl in Ethiopia beaten by men trying to abduct her for a forced "marriage". It seems that just as things looked the worst, three lions came along, scared off the men, and left the girl with no further harm. Wow!

An amazing tale? You bet! An open invitation to religious puffery by believers? Er, what else would you expect from people who see miracles imprinted on toast? It's no surprise that some goober commented thusly:

I am a Christian and I understand (and am OVERWHELMED at) this GIFT that GOD sent when HE had these lions come to protect this child. Angels can take any form...and then they just "disappeared into the wild"? THREE lions (as in The FATHER, The SON and The HOLY GHOST)!!?? Be THANKFUL that we have such a FATHER and GOD looking out for us!!

Well. Apparently bored and irritable, I responded: 

I am a Reasonable Human and I understand (and am OVERWHELMED at) this UNUSUAL EVENT in which NO GOD displayed evidence of intervention when HE OR SHE OR THEY failed to keep the girl out of this danger in the first place, and failed to punish the perpetrators of the hideous custom of bride kidnapping, and failed to perform any miraculous action on behalf of any children anywhere in the world, such as by clearing even one pediatric cancer ward of its patients (well, other than by letting them all die in agony, per the apparent default divine plan). Leprechauns can take any form… and then they just "disappeared into the wild"? THREE lions (as in CURLY, LARRY, and MOE)!!?? Be THANKFUL that sometimes creatures will act unpredictably, rather than outright killing children as lions and cobras and dogs and tuberculosis bacteria do too often in the utter absence of a FATHER and GOD looking out for us!

There! That'll raise hackles once it appears... which it hasn't yet, because... oops, the story is from 2005. Did not see that.

Chagrined, allow me to revisit my opener:

"Arguing on the Internet and doing so several years too late is really..."

UK government bans creationist schools

At the risk of bringing down the wrath of Godwin, here's another Separation of Church and State "poster" with a quote from Hitler.

The next installment will be different!

(Click to enlarge)

Australia: Spirituality's fine by us but there's little faith in religion

The religion of an increasingly godless America

Lego bible too racy for Sam's Club

Here's another homemade effort at illuminating the debate over spearation of church and state. "Teach the controversy", right?

(Click to enlarge)

There's more to come –

With the US election race gearing up, we're treated daily to more and more examples of American politicos, pundits, and plain old people who refuse to understand the simple, smart principles behind keeping religion out of government and government out of religion.

Millions of words have been said and millions more will be. In the meantime, I felt inspired to make a few images as reminders of what's at stake. (Click to enlarge.) None too subtle, I know, but subtlety doesn't seem to be working...

Link to it, forward it, pass it around. More are on the way.